The Cullens Go to Boot Camp
by The Bitten One
Summary: The Cullens are sent to boot camp by bella. FUNNY,beware. M Rated for future chapters Bella/Rose Bella/Emmett Bella/Carisle
1. Chapter 1

**Bella's pov**

**I checked my email. I had a new message finally it wasn't from my Grammy. It was from it was from agent Elise and Agent Emma my two best friends back in phoenix inviting me and some friends to come to the world class boot camp in northern Ireland for vampires and humans that know the secret.**

**Dear Elise and Emma,**

**I would like to sign up the Cullen coven and myself. We will see you in a week**

**Bye,**

**Bella**

**1 hour Later**

**"Hey you guys I have a superise for you we are going to Ireland !" I yelled**

**"what" everyone yelled.**

**"uhuh, and in Ireland we are going to boot camp!!"**

**"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNoooooooooooooooooooooo!!"**


	2. Travel sized Shoe Bombs

This is our first fanfic

**This is our first fanfic. By me (The Bitten One) and the light in the forest. Be nice and R&R**

Chapter two

**Carlisle POV**

**"**God why are we on this stupid plane anyways" I said to Emmett.

"Ohhhhh, Carlisle, you said a bad word!!" Emmett whined like a three year old.

"Damn you!!" Carlisle screamed at Emmett

"Gasp, Carlisle said a worse word!!"

"Whatever, Go blame Bella" Emmett waddled over to where Bella was standing at a terrorist's kiosk waiting in line to buy a lighter to light her travel sized shoe-bomb.

"Noooooooo…." Edward screamed heroically as he jumped into Carlisle's way " Don't blame Bella she's a perfect little angel" he pointed to Bella who was pocketing her "souvenirs" with an evil grin on her face.

"Let's just board this stupid plane anyways" I grumbled while Emmett got out his Jack-In-The-Box. Bella reached for the jack-in the-box and began turning the handle producing an instrumental version of London Bridge by Fergie.

"What kind of music box is this Emmett?"

"Whoa Bella you look hot with those terrorist items in your pocket" Emmett said loudly so that the big and buff security guards looked at him with the traditional "American stupidity" expression on.\

The Cullen's hurried onto the plane and settled down for a slightly disturbing flight.

**In the next chapter, things will happen in the exceedingly small restroom….. Trust us don't ask!! Please review or Bella will explode her travel sized shoe bomb on you!!**


	3. Intresting things in the bathroom

**AN: Thanks TwilightForever for reviewing so any ways….**

**This chapter is part of why we rated this story M, so little kids stop here now… Any ways if you have any ideas maybe you could post them in a review (nudge, nudge) So on with the story!!**

BPOV

Ha-ha this is going to be the best day of my life. I'm going to explode a shoe!! Now I can cross that off of the bucket list! I slowly lifted the lighter with the picture of the traditional "American stupidity" expression on it for extra patriotism (bush would be so proud of me!!) Then all of a sudden the fuse on my shoelace was light. Ooopps I forgot to take off the shoe. Let me untie them and put them on Alic

"OWWWW my little bitty finger!!"I screamed!!

"Don't worry Bella I'll fix that because I have my trusty Handy Manny tool set with me" Edward declared.

"Leave me alone Edward go back to slee…"

"Hey is that a travel sized shoe bomb?"

"NO"

"Ohhhh okay nighty night"

"I thought vampires couldn't sleep!"

"Shhhh don't ruin the moment!!"

"Okay whatever you say Edward!!"

I started to leave to go to the bathroom but then I tripped and my shoe bomb fell off of my feet.

BANG!!

I conspicuously walked to the bathroom and ignored Alice's screaming.

**Rpov**

I heard Alice screaming and then Bella walked into the bathroom.

"You should really lock the door you know" Bella said.

_Ohhhhh _I thought _Bella looks hot right now!!_

**BPOV**

_Ohhhhh Rosalie looks really hot right now_

**RPOV**

_mmmmmmmmmmmmm… Kissy kiss_

**BPOV**

_I like making out with girls, Carisle included!!_

"Cough cough" a flight atteddent apperred at the door "You really should close the door but any ways we are going down a travel sized shoe bomb went off."

"Oh" I said

**Please R&R!! TBO and LIF**


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